The Bucket Rider – One-On-One With The Dirty Devil

It's called The Dirty Devil for good reason. Cute names like Ramona Wildflower Ramble, Julian Apple Pie Pedalfest or Wynola Wheely Big Ride can't capture the epicness, challenge and difficulty of this event. Two words do though - Dirty Devil. At 127 miles including 28 on dirt and 12,000 feet of climbing it stands as one of the monuments of road bike ultra events.

It's a grassroots production by CCSD (Cycling Camp San Diego) in the spectacular mountains of east San Diego County. Rest assured, even though it's a grassroots event, CCSD looks after each rider with rest stops, sag support, mechanics, excellent course markings and post ride food. Plus, the course is fully road bikeable - no need for CX, gravel-grinder or MTB rigs. At 84 miles, a Jr. Dirty Devil is also on tap for those not quite ready to go up against The Devil.

I, on the other hand, am ready.

I trained hard for this event. Leaving nothing to chance, I focused my training on the dirt sections and went out of my way to add some dirt on every ride. Well, not quite out of my way. More like in my driveway.  It offers 400 feet of dirt and gravel. Practicing 400 feet at a time I accumulated almost four entire miles of dirt riding over the winter.

Hmmm....maybe I'm not quite ready.

Arriving at the Dirty Devil the first thing I hear is "THE PORTA POTTIES ARE LATE, SHOULD ARRIVE ANY MINUTE. USE ON-SITE BATHROOM."

Like every other rider, I run to the on-site facility. The line is backed up - both the waiting line and sewer line. Damn. I jump in the car and head down to the local McBathroom. Fifteen minutes later the porta potties and I arrive back at the venue.

Temperatures are brisk as we start the ride on glass smooth pavement - the smoothest we'll ride all day. Three miles later the first dirt section greats us - Viejas Grade. With KOM/QOM bragging rights available the intensity picks up, but not too much. Seasoned riders know to ride smart and conserve since only we're 15 minutes into an 8+ hour ride.

Grinding up the gravel feels great. Then The Devil strikes, without warning. Bang! Instantly I'm riding on rear rim. Unfortunately, it's not just a flat, but also a cut sidewall. The old "dollar bill" tire boot trick won't get me though the next 124 miles...

I consider my options: 1) Dollar boot, ride back to start, get new tire, restart; 2) Dollar boot, ride forward to rest stop, hope they have a tire; 3) Ditch my bike and head over to Viejas Casino to gamble and drink.

Just when I've convinced myself that #3 sounds pretty damn good and clearly what The Devil wants me do, the BookABikeMechanic.com neutral support VW comes sailing around the corner in a halo of dust.

The mechanic quickly confirms my diagnosis - the tire is toast. Then he offers a choice of replacements - Michelin, Continental, etc. I select the Conti. He installs it with ease and gets me back on the road, but now with a 15-minute handicap. I settle in for what is likely an 8-hour solo ride. Thanks Devil.

Soon the 13-mile Boulder Creek dirt section comes into view. Once on it I slide around on loose dirt climbs and washboard rippled descents glad I'm not riding carbon hoops. Several stream crossings dampen my feet while the occasional car chokes me with dust. Shadows hide large foot deep washboard segments on a few descents. Luckily, I stay upright and don't lose any fillings.

Just when I thought I was all alone in the middle of nowhere cars and fanatical fans line the narrow dirt road. I carefully thread my way through the gauntlet, imagining this is what it must be like on a climb in a Grand Tour. Except nobody is running next to me screaming in my ear, 100 miles remain and the people are really here to see the magnificent Three Sister Falls - not some old man on a bike.

Back on pavement I hook up with a group through Santa Ysabel and Ramona. The group is short lived though and I'm alone once again at the start of the next dirt section - Black Canyon. This road is rarely used and at times (especially descending) feels like a Jeep trail.  Finding a good line is a full-time job. Taking my eyes off the road for a moment I see the canyon covered with mountain lilacs in full bloom. It's breathtakingly beautiful.

Finally, after 5 hours all the dirt sections are done and dusted, but The Devil put me through the wringer. I'm beat up, worn out, tired and covered in dirt. Oh, and hungry.

I skip refueling at the Mesa Grande rest stop. I've got other plans. A few miles down the road is the world-famous Julian Pie Company, known for some of the best apple pie on the planet. I love apple pie, so this is a no-brainer. Putting my head down I motor towards pie heaven.

The smell of homemade pie wafts through the air as I pull into the store.

"I'd like a slice of that," pointing at a whole Dutch apple pie in the glass case.

"Sure. A la mode?"

"A la fork. No mode."

"Just a slice and a fork? Do you need a table?"

"Yes. No."

Seconds later with pie and fork in hand I step to the side of the counter and devour the sinfully delicious cinnamon, sugar, and apple crumble goodness. It is really, really, really good - much better than sport gels and bars.

Now full of apple pie goodness I start the remaining 50 paved miles to the finish. The next bit climbs up an oak canopied country road into the Julian hills. My hands enjoy a new sensation, smooth asphalt, rather than chunky gravel and dirt. Turning south towards 6,000 foot Cuyamaca Peak the sky turns ominous, dark grey and the wind picks up.

Luckily, I slide past the storm as the temperature drops to 49 and a headwind challenges me. It's gut check time. Time to dig deep. In 10 miles I'll be at the 100-mile mark. Then 20 miles of downhill! I keep pedaling.

I hit the downhill and savor every sweeping turn, sharp corner and fast straightaway while quickly put miles behind me. Soon I'm staring at the final climb. It's a short staircase I knock-out knowing the finish is a few turns away. The last 500 yards is on dirt, of course, and I roll under the finish banner in 8 hours 28 minutes.

I beat you Dirty Devil.

But The Devil isn't done.

Leaning my bike up I notice the rear wheel stops dead when spinning. Hmmm? Odd. I discover my new rear tire is warped with a small hop, just tall enough to rub the underside of the brake bridge. So, all day long the tire rubbed against the frame trying to suck the life and watts out of my legs.

Seems The Dirty Devil has the last laugh today.

Cheers and most of all enjoy the ride. What's on your bucket list?

John is a former faux pro racer enjoying life as a geriatric cyclist in search of great bucket list rides to keep him in shape and out of trouble - well, at least in shape. 

He writes about his Bucket Rides in all their variety and glory for Granfondo.com. See his other pieces here

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